Life

Nobody will know what's going on in your mind, it's better to express rather than expect. You already have the NO, take a risk on getting the YES. We have one life, keep it simple silly ;-)

Great people in every field start with such a deep analysis and revise it yearly to chart their progress, and the time and emotion spent in such an appraisal will be chicken feed compared to the value you will receive from it. Know yourself better.